..AF arrived, STIMS have started & 2nd follie check..

I am SOOOOO sorry for my delay in posting an update.  I have been so tired this past week or so I just haven't had the energy to type and think about what I want to say. But here I am, and I have lots to update you all on. 

AF
In my last post I was asking where the heck AF was.  Well, on Friday AM I called my nurse at my fertility clinic, told her AF had not arrived and we scheduled an appointment for me to come in the following day (Sat) for US/BW.  Little did I know that AF would show that afternoon in FULL FORCE!!!  If AF would have showed up on time, a CD2 appointment would have been made for that Sat, so it was perfect timing that I needed to make the appointment thinking AF wasn't going to show.  AF has not been nice, but I'm very happy she showed.

CD2 appointment
My appointment was at 8 AM Sat morning.  The US showed a cyst (of course) around 4 mm (cm?) not sure of the size, but it was 4 something.  They didn't seem too concerned about it but that they would have a better answer when my blood results came in.  About 4:30 that afternoon, I got the call to go ahead and start stims that night. Here is a look at Stim day 1-4 before 1st follie check:

• Sat night = 150 iu of Gonal F & 150 iu of Menopur
• Sun AM = 300 iu of Gonal F
• Sun PM = 150 iu of Gonal F & 150 iu of Menopur
• Mon AM/PM = same routine
• Tues = 1st follie check @ 8 AM

1st Follie Check
My cyst made it hard to see things.  The tech and the RE that I saw that morning said my cyst was squishing my follicles making it hard to see/find them and to see any type of measurements.  They said they saw at least 2.  The RE said schedule a 2nd follie check for Thursday and let's wait and see how your blood work comes back.  Well, not so good.  My estrogen was 26.4 on Sat before starting stims.  Day 4 of stims my estrogen was 38.1.  This is very low meaning and should be over a 100 by now.  So they said to continue my same dosages and come back in on Thursday and cross our fingers that we see a rise in my estrogen and that my follicles have grown and are more visible.  Lupron may have suppressed my ovary too much.  Unlike that last cycle, they were trying to prevent me from having that one leading follicle making it hard for the other's to grow or at least catch up.  But now we are experiencing the opposite where there may be little to no follicles and a very low estrogen level.

My 2nd follie check is tomorrow at 8AM and I'm just praying things look better.  I'm trying to stay positive but it's hard when there are always so many ups and downs in an IVF cycle.  Please let this be our miracle baby Lord!:)  I don't feel as much tugging and pulling in my ovary like I did last time, but I think this approach (the slow growing approach) might be the trick to get us our BFP! So we shall see.

Thanks again for your continued love and support!  Means so much to us.

I'll update tomorrow night on how my 2nd follie check went.

Talk to you soon,
Lauren

..Where are you AF?..

According to my IVF Calendar from my Clinic, AF is suppose to show by tomorrow 4/13/11.  Are there signs of her showing?  NO!!!!  Where the hell is she?  I have some weird cramping but no spotting.  I'm super emotional (what's new) and hungry.  But these could all be symptoms from the Lupron.  Oh, my favorite injection in the whole-wide-world!!!  I hate this mother effing shot!  Excuse my harshness.  But for those of you who know my experience with Lupron from the Summer, know it wasn't good and swore I would NEVER use Lupron again.  But this is such a small dosage, my RE reassured me that I will not have the same horrible experience again. 

So if AF doesn't arrive by tomorrow, I am to call my Nurse.  I have no idea what they will do if she doesn't show.  Provera maybe?  Who knows.  I really want to know....this is a NEW protocol for me so I have no idea what to expect.  Today is CD26, so technically, she has 2 days to show if this was a normal cycle.  We shall see.

I'm trying to just take one day at a time.  I've been reading some really great books to keep my mind occupied and it's been working.  So I think I will keep up with this habit.  I've really been enjoying the reading. 

I will post an update once AF shows and what happens next.  I hope everyone is doing well. 

Yeah for SPRING and warmer weather!  I'm so done with the COLD!

Love to you all,
Lauren

..The beginning of IVF#3 has started..

Hello my lovely friends-

I hope everyone is doing well.  I am doing pretty good.  I just got back from visiting my family in CA where I'm from.  We had a fabulous time and as nice as it is to be at home in my own bed, I miss home already terribly.  NOVA (Northern Virginia) just doesn't compare to SO CAL!  I'm always so emotional about leaving.  My Mom dropped us off at LAX yesterday morning and I did great with the goodbye.  It wasn't until we cleared security and were sitting down in Chili's for some lunch that I started to cry.  I miss my parents.  I miss my brother and SIL and my sweet, sweet nephews, and my bff's!  My DH doesn't always understand why I get so sad, but at least he is supportive.  He is close with his family, but not the way I am.  I just needed a good 30 minutes to just let it all out.  After that, I felt so much better.  I'm still not happy to be home though.  It's a daily struggle for me to live here in VA and I just pray and hope that one day our lives take us to SO CAL!  I'm thankful for my wonderful family I have here, my grandparents and my Dad's sister and brother.  Without them, I don't know how I would survive.  Being able to see them just for dinner, or for birthdays and holidays makes me feel at home!

Ok, so now to the real reason for this post: The start of IVF#3!

I started my first injection of Lupron last night.  Went well, just bled some but nothing too terrible.  2nd shot was this AM and this one was much better.  It's only 10 units using a insulin syringe so it's not bad at all.  Today is CD20, so if my cycle is regular, I should have roughly around 8 more days of Lupron injections.  Then AF should arrive.  On CD2 of this next cycle, I will go in for US/BW make sure everything looks as suppressed as my RE would like.  If so, then we start stims that night.  So possibly next Thursday, 4/14 stims will start. 

I'm excited but I don't think it's all hit me yet.  I've been so preoccupied with school that I haven't had a whole lot of time to think about it all.  I'm just praying hard this time works!!!

I'm feeling pretty good.  I only have two complaints...I am extremely BLOATED still which is super annoying (I hate the scale these days..seeing #'s I've never seen before...boo) and my face is a disaster.  It's not acne but red bumps like a rash all over my face and it's constantly red.  I know it has to be from the hormones but I wish it would go away because I feel that it's really obvious and it itches.  I just hope this next IVF cycle doesn't make it worse.  The joys of all these hormones for a baby!

So overall, things are great!!  I'm ready for spring and so done with the cold!

I hope everyone is doing well.  I probably won't post an update until CD2 when I actually have something to update on.  Your all in my thoughts and prayers, always!

Talk to you soon,
Lauren

..IUI Update: BFN..

Hi blog friends!

I am so sorry it has taken me so long to update you all.  Now that I have a ttc Facebook page and my Youtube channel, I have been updating there more reguarly.  So my apologies for neglecting you all.  As you can see from my title of this post, this cycle was a BFN!!!! Deep down I knew it would be, but I was holding onto that little ounce of hope that this would be our miracle baby.  AF had decided to arrive the day before my beta so I knew it was over.  Stupid regular cycle! I had way more symptoms this go around so I was really thinking I was pregnant.  But, my gutt knows best and it was right.  Before we even began this IVF cycle my DH from the beginning said he ONLY agreed to doing this one cycle before we bought a house.  So as the day of my beta got closer I started to really loose hope because I had no idea how I would convince him to do another cycle.  I tried to not worry about it but it was hard because I knew our RE would be asking what our next plan would be.

Friday, March 18th was my beta.  I had no idea how quick things could get started again.  I knew what I wanted and the waiting for my nurse to call with my results was torture.  She called around 2 PM apologized that it was negative and wanted to know if we wanted to proceed with another IVF cycle.  My RE and I had discussed early when he converted the IVF to an IUI that he would like to try one more cycle with my eggs.  I told her that I would need to talk to my husband and I would call her on Monday with an answer.  I called my husband and after a very long conversation, and to my surprise, he said YES!!!! I was emotional and was over joyed with happiness.  This BFN wasn't the end and we would have one more try.  Even though I have 4 more IVF cycles through my insurance, due to the poor response this last time, my RE feels it's best that we try one more time and then re-evaluate doing Donor IVF or adoption.  So this has got to be our miracle cycle.  I'm so excited!  Everything just keeps falling into place and 3rd time's a charm right?

So here is the plan:

Protocol: Lupron Stop Protocol

CD 19 (4/5) - Start 10 units of Lupron in AM until AF shows (approx about 9-10 days later)
CD 2 - Blood work and U/S to make sure everything looks good, if it does, start stims.
I will be using Gonal F and Menopur again, but no Ganilrelix because my system is being suppressed by the Lupron in the beginning instead.  Not too sure how the last week of stims works with doing the suppression but we shall see soon enough. 
CD 2 or 3 - Start stims for aprox 10-12 days.
ER/ET - Somewhere towards the end of April beginning of May for a February baby.

So hopefully this cycle makes it to ER!  I don't want another IUI.  I feel that in my situation they are a waste of time and its just a huge let down that I don't want to feel again.  I'm praying this is our BFP!  I keep saying in my head, "3rd times a charm"!  I really believe this.  God knows, he has a plan and we just have to trust in Him and pray that this is in his plan.

I'm just so thankful to have another chance.  I think this BFN was much easier to handle because I knew we had more chances.  With our first IVF and the BFN, we had no other chances.  Our insurance only covered 1 cycle so that was it.  We didn't have the money to do another cycle out-of-pocket.  So this time in many ways is very different.  I feel great besides being bloated still and very tired all the time.  My food cravings have been out of control and I thought they would go away after the injections stopped and wore off, but not I still love my food.  This is so unlike me for those of you who know me....I don't eat a lot.  Having endo, I'm always nauseous and it's very hard to eat a full meal.  So as much as I'm enjoying this, I don't want it to get to out of control and gain a bunch of weight.

So things are good overall!  I'm headed home to SO CAL on Wed till Mon and I couldn't be more excited. We get home late Monday night and then Lupron starts the following day!:)

I will do an update when we get home on how my Lupron injections go.  It's all like second nature now, haha!

I hope everyone is doing well.  Congrats on all the new BFP's and for all the births this month! So exciting!

Thanks for all the well wishes and for thinking of me!

Talk to you all soon,
Lauren

..IUI Update..

Hey everyone!

Sorry for my delay in posting an update on how my IUI went.  Friday, March 4th @ 8:30 was my IUI.  At 7:30 I dropped off my DH's deposit (not fan of the "S" word) for them to prepare it for my 8:30 IUI.  We got to the clinic around 8:20 and we weren't called back until around 9.  This was the first time that my DH had met our RE and he really liked him and vice versa.  After the sperm wash, we had 18mil at 54% motility which is great!  They like to see anything over 2mil and anything over 50% motility is considered normal so yet again, another normal semen sample!!!! Yay!!!!  We know for sure that I had one mature follicle around 22mm and a few smaller ones that could have possible grown some more with the help of the trigger shot.  The IUI went very well and smooth.  Only took about 10 minutes and then I had to lay on the table for another 3 minutes.  I was feeling ok after so we went to breakfast.  When I got home around 11:30, I laid down and I slept from 12:00 pm - 4:15.  It was the best nap ever!  I did wake up with cramps and I've been cramping ever since.  Today I've been experiencing sciatic nerve pain (who knows why or if it's related).  But overall I'm feeling pretty good. 

My first beta is March 18th and this is going to be the longest 2ww ever!  I'm trying to not read into any symptoms I may be having as they can be related to my progesterone I take once a day and even the trigger shot.  So I'm going to try to hold out until beta day to find out if we are pregnant or not, but I may break down and test either that Wed or Thurs.  Not sure yet.  I just don't want to experience disappointment any sooner than I have to.  I'm handling everything pretty well and I'm definitely not obsessing over things like I did with my IVF cycle, so this is good.  I just pray that this is God's will for our lives and that this is our miracle baby.  I feel good about it...not sure if this means anything or not, but I'm feeling very positive about this IUI!:)

I will post an update later this week with any symptoms I may be having and whatever else I'm feeling or thinking!  We all know the 2ww causes us to think all sorts of strange things!

I hope everyone is doing well!!!!!

Praying for every one's BFP!

Talk to you all very soon,
Lauren

..Quick Update..

I'm exhausted from today's events so I'm going to try to make this quick.

I didn't get good news this morning at my follie check.  My lead follicle caused my smaller follicles to stop growing or to slow down and as of this morning, we only had one mature follicle to work with.  My RE wasn't comfortable doing a retrieval with only one egg.  So he converted my IVF cycle to an IUI cycle (artificial insemination).  I was shocked.  I knew I wouldn't respond the greatest to the stimulation meds but I never thought my cycle would be cancelled and converted to an IUI.  The whole reason we are doing IVF is because we can't get pregnant naturally.  Sperm issues with egg quality issues makes an IUI nearly impossible to work.  But, miracles do happen.  By doing IVF with ICSI, we were bypassing the sperm having an issue penetrating the egg/s.  Now with an IUI, the sperm will be placed directly into my uterus but will still have to try to meet the egg and fertilize on it's own.  How is this going to work??? 

My IUI is scheduled for this Friday at 8:30.  We are hoping that these other smaller follicles will grow in these next two days and be mature enough to ovulate and contain eggs.  I did my trigger shot tonight at 6 Pm and I will ovulate in 36 hours just in time for the IUI.  I'm trying to stay as positive as I can but it's hard when we are going backwards, not forward.  Maybe this was the push we have needed all along.  The sperm just needed to get into the uterus to be closer to the egg/s to fertilize them.  I know no matter how much I worry, it will not change the outcome.  I have to trust in God's plan for ny DH and I and know that regardless of what happens, we'll be ok.  If this IUI is not successful, my RE wants to do one more round of IVF with my eggs but with a different approach.  So we shall see if we decide to go this route.  If a 2nd IVF didn't work, then we would discuss going back to plan b of either donor eggs or adoption.

Surprisingly I'm doing ok.  I still have some hope and I'm just trusting in God and that is all I can really do right now.  March 18 will be my first beta!!!  So not looking forward to my 2ww!  Hopefully I can stay as distracted as possible.

I will update more on Friday after my IUI.  I'm so exhausted right now and I just need to go to bed.  I have a crazy headache, I'm so bloated and I just feel crappy.

Thanks again for your continued support!

Talk to you all soon!

-L-

..Day 5..

Just a quick update on today's follicle check.

4 follicles found on U/S
18mm
13mm
10mm
10mm

Main concern is the leading follicle growing too fast and not allowing the smaller ones to catch up.  There may be more follicle's, they just only count the ones measuring 10mm and above.  So we are working with 4.  Not a huge number, but better than nothing.  We knew from the beginning that I was a poor responder so my Dr reassured me this morning that they aren't focused on quantity but quality.  That they have seen BFP in woman in my same situation so this gives me hope!

PM injections:
Gonal-f - 150 iu
Menopur - 300 iu (went from 3 vials to 4)

AM injections:
Gonal-f - 300 iu
Ganirelix pre-filled injection

7:45 AM follie check


2 most important things right now: Keep me from O on my own (reason I already started Ganirelix) and allowing smaller follicles time to catch up to leading follicle.


Please continue to pray this cycle goes well and that we are able to retrieve all 4 follies if not more and that we have a good fertilization report with more than 1 embryo to transfer this time.

I have been fine up until today....I'm really nervous and anxious now!  God is in control!  I have to remember this!

If I don't post an update tomorrow night,  I will be sure to on Wed AM.

Much love,
-L-